Could it all be so simple....

I have just not been up to keeping on top of my blog these days. I have a few updates to expand upon once again.

1. They are closing on our property next week(supposedly) and we are due to be in our new home by the end of the year. That SOUNDS so good, but we are just playing it by ear. It does give us a few months to get a lot of things done. Pay off a few things, make sure all is in order with the credit, put away a lil bit more into our accounts, and just plain relax. We have been so caught up with what, when, where, and how this thing was going to finally happen, so it will just be a breath of fresh air to sit back and let it all unfold.

2. I got my increase! It is due to be in my next pay period, which is next week. I am also due for my annual increase, upon review of course, as well as I have changed my shift from 9-6 to 10-7 which gives me another 8% on top of everything else. You gotta love working in the call center environment. I have also been bringing home beaucoup $$ from OT, which is still running strong. I don't mind getting my feet wet again, troubleshooting on the phones and actually helping someone out that appreciates it. Sometimes it feels like Quality Assurance can be a thankless job, as none of our employees feels we are there to make them better reps, only out to get them on some sort of personal vendetta. Yea right, thats how I wanna spend my time, getting revenge on some computer geek that I barely know, for what? Ish and giggles I suppose. They can be too funny sometimes, but that is another post all in itself.

3. My car is fixed!! My Black Stallion will be on the road very soon. She is officially fixed, but is still at the shop, as we did not have 2k to fork over at once. Luckily, our mechanic is very understanding and is working with a lil payment plan. He even found me another engine with less mileage. We are thinking of flipping this car once its up on the road, maybe getting a nice $3500-4000 for her. Shes in great condition and with that mileage on it for a 94 Maxima, I think she will be well sought after. We are looking to take what we get, stash a grand and put the rest on a new-er car. At least one thats in this decade. It will be a hot minute b4 I see myself with a brand new car, and to be honest, I am not too particular about it. We are checking out some in the 2000-2002 range. We shall see how that unfolds.

4. I have been recuping from the procedure I had done a few days back. Now more unfolds in that situation. I called to make a follow up appt as the second week draws to a close, only to get a call the very next day from my dr, asking me to come in as soon as possible. Mind you, the nurse actually called, and has no tact or empathy whatsoever. She just blurts out something about "We need you to come in as soon as you can. Did the dr tell you about a possible molar pregnancy?" Im like "uhhh whats that" She completely disregarded that and just went on to determine when I would be in to take some blood test. Now this pisses me off to no end, but I am also a little scared at this point. Of course, me being the nerd that I am, went directly on the internet to find all the info I could on molar pregnancies. There is a lot of info to be found, so I got my share. To sum, something happened when the egg was fertilized, like it is either a normal egg fertlized by two sperm, or and abnormal egg with no genetic info is fertlized. This in turn somehow causes abnormal tissue to form in place of, or in addition to the normal placenta and embryo. The abnormal tissue can be left behind, even after the procedure has been done, and since this is abnormal cell growth that takes place it can at times spread and actually form some type of pregnancy cancer. CANCER...that is the only word that stuck as I was reading everything. More info can be found here Molar Pregnancy. This is such a rare occurrence in the US and I cannot believe that I was even at risk, but from the other womens' stories I have been reading, it happens more than people know. It has been reassuring to read these womens' stories, to get their perspectives, firsthand, and see what they went through. A few of them even had to go through actual chemotherapy until all was normal again. Tomorrow I go for my first blood test. They have to monitor my hCG levels, as with a molar pregnancy, they are usually higher than normal. Most women have had to undergo blood tests and pelvic exams for up to a year, starting weekly/biweekly, then monthly to test for more tissue growth.

OK. WHEW. That was a lot to get off my chest just then. I had to take a breath and just relax and release. It feels good to write it all out, because it actually gave me a better understanding of it all. I am just kinda ready to get tomorrow over with already. So then I will know what to expect for the next few months. It seems like as soon as I was just starting to move forward with the loss, something pulled me right back into it.

Anywho... i am just taking things one day at a time right now. I have a lot to be thankful for, and feel that I have always been blessed. I just need to find my strength now to continue being the wife and mother I have been while all this takes place.